Addicted

I love you because you taste good.
You trick me into believing that with you I am having so much fun.
Good times are about celebrating with you.
You get under my skin and you are all I can think about. 
The more of you I have the more of you I want, I can't get enough. 

But your reality is much darker. 

I hate you because you cloud my brain. 
I am disconnected and unconscious because of you.
I am angry, unreasonable, paranoid, judgemental. 
I become the worst version of myself.
I drown in your poison.

You've been with me for so long, time passes without you in my life and suddenly you trick me into believing I can let you back in. It's ok, I'm strong enough, I can do this.

So I'm telling you for the last time.
I don't want you here, I can live without you. 
I want to live without you.
I won't be fooled by you again.
I am conscious and awake, choosing to be sober. 

I’ve created a new addiction to sobreity and health so that I can keep my connection to myself, my integrity and allow my light to shine even brighter.  

Today I am totally addicted to being 7 months sober.